Another post about change. Boring.

One of the most prevalent topics that comes up in my adulthood is the topic of change and more personally, how I deal with it.  I feel like I have written a lot of posts about this in recent years so that must be a sign... of something.

I feel pretty strongly that 2012 is going to be a year that will stretch me a bit in my flexibility.  And no, I'm not talking about taking up gymnastics.  Ha.  I will have a new home, new roommate(s), new relationships, and who knows - potentially a new "job" or daily schedule.

But I don't want that to sound cliche.  Most people seem to start a New Year thinking, "This one is going to be different than the last."  Like we need the year's end to push us to make changes in our life.  However, I didn't need the year's end to do that, I just needed some circumstances to push me into change.

So I've been asking questions of myself... and in some ways trying to open up to change.  Who do I want to be?  How does who I am affect where I live and what I do?  What needs to change about myself?  Are there things I am putting off?  Are there things I should be doing that I'm not? 

Quarter-life crisis?  Maybe.

Recently, I was writing a friend and I commented that sometimes I just want to hit the button labeled "pause life" so I can just enjoy where I am - no changes.  Alas, this button does not exist unless I become a lonely hermit.  And this was my friend's response:

We know the things we love, we keep them close as often as possible. But the changes... those are the wrapped-up boxes waiting under the tree. They can be covered in newsprint or glitter, mud or ribbons and bows. Some we open eagerly and some are forced on us, but the outside appearance is no guarantee of the contents. You don't know what you've got 'til it's gone, but sometimes you don't know what you've missed until it unfolds in front of you.

I needed that reminder.  In talking with another friend just today about the fear of stagnancy in relationships, I realized that such a fear actually boils down in some ways to a fear of no change.  I think I'm the opposite - I tend to fear change more than I fear stagnancy.  I don't think this is a good thing.  :s

So. As I look at 2012 I tell myself this:

Be willing to let go of the things I hold close and take risks.  It doesn't mean I've lost the things I let go of, but there might be something in one of those unopened boxes that God really wants for me.

Time will tell.